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Russian model • The Berkeley Weblog

Co-authored with Ilona Sologoub at VoxUkraine

Winston Churchill, a bigger-than-life statesman and prolific writer, noticed, “Historical past will likely be variety to me for I intend to jot down it.” He was largely profitable and obtained a Nobel prize in literature “for his mastery of historic and biographical description in addition to for sensible oratory in defending exalted human values”. Different politicians’ makes an attempt to jot down (or quite rewrite) historical past usually turned out to be embarrassing. Vladimir Putin tried to offer different accounts of WW2 and extra usually Russian/Ukrainian historical past however details and fantasy don’t combine properly on this style. Fortuitously, one space during which authors have full freedom to think about occasions is “different historical past”. This literary machine may help recognize significance of previous or present occasions. For instance, what if Russia conquered Ukraine in 2022? Beneath is one model of occasions (any resemblance of names is a coincidence).

"Russian RV"; Source: Ukrinform

“Russian RV”; Supply: Ukrinform

On February 24, 2022, Russia begins a army operation to denazify Ukraine. The fantastic Russian troops advance swiftly and management Kiev (renaming Kyiv into Kiev) on the second day of the operation. Russia At the moment reviews jubilant crowds. President Zelensky and his household are captured and publicly executed for his or her crimes towards humanity. The remainder of the federal government is arrested, court-martialed, and hanged in Babi Yar to ship a sign for anyone who could also be harboring Nazi values in Ukraine (e.g. speaks Ukrainian) or elsewhere. Massive and small supporters of the legal regime in addition to its opponents corresponding to Petro Poroshenko, a former president of Ukraine, are rounded up and put in camps to guard them from the outrage of Ukrainian lots liberated by the Russian military.

To indicate mercy, President Putin establishes a brand new program to move these legal parts to Siberia and different distant however hospitable elements of Russia to provide them an opportunity to redeem themselves. Conveniently, GULAG camps are vacant and so shipments can begin instantly. Clearly, some Ukrainians fail to understand the advantages of their new freedom they usually want convincing. Constructing on the huge expertise, the Russian safety organs set up chambers in each metropolis, city and village the place Ukrainians can contact reside wires to confirm the energy of the Russian electrical grid. The audio and video recordings of those experiences are distributed by way of social media to make sure that the teachings could be absorbed painlessly. Pursuing value efficient options, the Russian authorities promote mass graves to keep up minimal sanitary situations in troubled areas (excessive power costs make crematoriums too costly).

Though Russian troopers and officers are extremely delicate to the native inhabitants, some kids lose their dad and mom. Caring that the West can corrupt the kids with LGBTQ+ values, the Russian authorities units up a community of orphanages during which correct, conventional values of Mom Russia are taught. Fortuitously, many buildings are vacated and want solely trivial renovation after modest shelling. To the identical finish, the Ukrainian books are shortly taken from libraries and burnt to warmth the buildings and to cease Ukrainian fascists from spreading the poison of Ukrainian nationalism. The historical past books—in fact, in Russian—are imported from Russia to offer the proper perspective on Little Russia, beforehand referred to as Ukraine. Those that battle to talk Russian are supplied with all-expenses-paid academic packages in camps. Companies that promote bortsch, salo or every other Ukrainian paraphernalia must pay a “solidarity tax” (to pay for the damages inflicted by the Ukrainian Nazi) and put a trident signal on their home windows to warn the general public that these retailers provide doubtlessly harmful items and providers. Native communities are inspired to boycott these companies.

Some Ukrainian traitors attempt to flee the nation however the Russian authorities expeditiously erects a wall utilizing labor from the camps. The Russian public is glad with the budgetary self-discipline exercised in the course of the development of the wall. Certainly, the labor was supplied voluntarily whereas supplies and tools are donated by Ukrainian corporations beforehand owned by the Nazi sympathizers.

These developments draw considerably combined however usually constructive reactions from the worldwide neighborhood. As a result of Russia’s new lebensraum is predicted to generate a lot wealth, the FSB plans to forgive any loans issued to French, German, American and different political events and figures. This creates well-grounded optimism that the West can have a cope with Russia. Viktor Orban’s dream to have a typical border with Russia is fulfilled. Vienna is worked up to ask Vladimir Putin to a dancing ball organized by a former Austrian international minister. Varied authorities officers and consultants are glad that their forecasts (Ukraine ought to vanish in a number of days) are remarkably exact. The EU in addition to China and India are impressed with the soundness of Russian power provides. The real regret of Ukrainian Nazis creates goodwill so robust that the Worldwide Olympic Committee permits Ukrainian athletes to compete (usually below the Olympic flag however the very best can bear the Russian flag) within the 2024 Olympic Video games in Paris. Though Ukrainians who managed to flee unfold tales of horrific atrocities (the United Nations launches an investigation with the outcomes anticipated in March 2042), the media dismisses these as clearly false fabrications. In any case, the Russian nice tradition couldn’t nurture monsters that will destroy cities, freeze individuals to dying, rape ladies, and many others. Actually, the fascination with Russian tradition reaches new heights and Pushkin is necessary studying in European faculties (statutes of Pushkin are erected in each metropolis).

To completely exploit the potential of cooperation with Russia, Moldova, Georgia, and Kazakhstan settle for the Russian invitation to type a brand new union with the capital in Moscow. Russian army bases there are expanded to instill extra confidence in residents. Sweden and Finland are despatched a particular invitation to hitch a defensive union with Russia which they gladly settle for (after being unable to just accept these two nations, NATO is dissolved). The European Union endorses an much more bold plan. Particularly, the imaginative and prescient is to have a union from Lisbon to Vladivostok, as envisioned by the Supreme Chief Vladimir Putin a few years in the past. To acknowledge the main function of Russia in forming the union, the European Union aligns its laws and practices with Russia’s (e.g., highest bribes win circumstances in courts, police can use brute power at will, individuals can transfer solely with an approval from the authorities, parliaments are abolished to economize). After a brief debate, Gerhard Schoeder is chosen to steer the negotiations with Russia on this matter. He’s optimistic: the “previous” Europe works arduous on Poland and the Baltic states to arrange a land hall from Belarus, a minor Russian province, to Kaliningrad oblast. The brand new union is predicted to final 1,000 years.

Awe-struck by the pace and effectiveness of those coverage strikes, Taiwan invitations the Communist Social gathering of China (CPC) to steer the federal government in Taipei. The CPC management is impressed by the maturity of this resolution and begins to type a coalition authorities instantly. Sadly, the non-communist members fall sick or disappear and so the CPC has to take the burden of governing unilaterally. The primary decree of the brand new authorities is to nationalize TSMC and different chipmakers. According to the spirit of the time, Pyongyang sends a delegation to Seoul to develop a peaceable nuclear power program or face the implications.

With America being first, the White Home is happy with the financial savings: there isn’t any must ship weapons or financial assist to Ukraine (in addition to Taiwan, Korea, and many others.) and so the fiscal cliff is averted. Moreover, there’s a resolution to liberalize get together funds and permit direct funding from Moscow to eradicate the middlemen and improve transparency. With the pleasant Kremlin, the disarmament talks are revived to mirror the brand new period of belief between the superpowers. (Barack Obama is condemned for calling Russia a regional energy and for sending blankets to Ukraine after Russia reunited with Crimea; “annexation” is a forbidden phrase.) The bipartisan view is that the US must discover the advantages of one-party programs.

The destiny of Africa, Latin America, Center East, Australia and different impartial nations is to be decided by a peace convention in Yalta. The rising consensus is evident: the world has too many nations and a few aggregation is critical. The demand for geographers is unusually excessive as there’s a must redraw borders according to new realities.

The Nobel committee awards the peace prize to Vladimir Putin “for not utilizing nuclear weapons and thus stopping the warfare in Europe and Asia.” On second thought, the committee decides to provide him the literature prize too “for a inventive rethinking of historical past and poetic voice of liberty and freedom in Ukraine.” Apparently, two Nobels shouldn’t be sufficient as Putin refuses to just accept this insulting “honor”.

Issues take a unsuitable flip. In his infinite knowledge, Putin sends tanks to Poland. He claims that these are leisure automobiles (RVs) meant to move the Russian talking inhabitants (Russia At the moment confirms). The realpolitik consultants rejoice that Putin shunned utilizing nuclear weapons and escalation is averted. Putin interprets this favorable reception as an invite to additional his combat for peace. Columns of RVs advance to Budapest (to commemorate 1956), Prague (1968), Berlin (1945) and different European capitals. The parades are spectacular. The Russian public is especially happy to ship a convoy of RVs to rejoice the liberation of Paris in 1814. The peace-loving Europe meets these liberators with flowers (everyone remembers the latest liberation of Kyiv Kiev). The elites sit up for a chance to meditate in Siberia and gather area materials for future literary masterpieces concerning the triumph of the Russian individuals (there isn’t any struggling in Russia). Members of the European communist events have a area journey to GULAG to refine progressive concepts corresponding to warfare communism. Fortuitously, Stasi information are nonetheless intact. The company is reinstated with zero opposition and works very arduous to compensate for the time misplaced since 1989. On the identical time, the Actually Socialist Manufacturing Cooperative (former TSMC) is instructed to promote electronics solely to pleasant nations that don’t shoot down balloons. Displaying a scarcity of restraint in these triumphant instances, Pyongyang sends a ten megaton current to Seoul (in fact, Pyongyang was provoked!). This proves to be the final straw for Washington that doesn’t wish to obtain comparable presents. A pleasant alternate of nuclear weapons concludes the timeline with a quite chilly winter.

This historical past is absurd however many parts are impressed by true occasions. The “Ukraine” half displays the expertise of Ukrainians within the territories occupied by Russia. Torture chambers, mass graves, filtration camps, deportations, kill lists, and many others. are actual. Hitler proclaimed the Reich for 1,000 years. The notorious Munich deal sacrificed Czechoslovakia to get “peace” in Europe. Tens of millions of Ukrainians perished in Soviet GULAGs and the Holodomor. The Berlin wall was essential to cease the outflow of individuals from the employees’ “paradize” in East Germany. Russian cash bankrolled ultra-right events and different extremist events in Western democracies. Gerhard Schoeder traveled to Moscow to barter Ukraine’s destiny with Putin. “Don’t provoke Russia” and “don’t escalate” are main themes in coverage dialogue within the West. Russia bombed Kyiv when the United Nations Secretary-Basic was within the metropolis. China views Taiwan as its territory.

For now, Ukraine stands in the best way of this and equally darkish histories. However these or different paths will not be a future. We will defeat the Russian aggression, beat again revisionist forces and have a free world. Or we are able to have tyrannies and empires that finish mankind. The selection is ours to make.




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