5. Males Pressuring Males – Lots of our male respondents mentioned that the stress males felt from different males was enormous, when and in the event that they had been to come back out and admit that they had been overtly non secular. It’s one of many key causes many males saved their spirituality quiet and near their chest. Many mentioned that there’s an innate competitiveness between males that shamed them into feeling ‘lower than’ and defensive for not sharing the mainstream superb of what it’s to be ‘masculine’. And but, many ladies (in addition to myself) mentioned that we discovered it extraordinarily masculine when a person can overtly share his emotions and categorical his spirituality. Males mentioned that they’ve problem opening up when different males are round, as they have a tendency to really feel that they’ll be judged or put down. Whereas, they felt safer opening up in entrance of girls who could be extra accepting of them. Though there have been some males, who mentioned girls had been judgemental too and had concepts that non secular males will be ‘too delicate’. Of explicit observe amongst our male respondents, is that they mentioned it was widespread for males to imagine that one other man is ‘effeminate’ when he reveals or shares his non secular facet – seeing spirituality, as being ‘female’, fairly than ‘masculine’.
6. Spirituality Seen as ‘Not Masculine’ – Lots of our male respondents agreed that males (and ladies) noticed spirituality as a female high quality and one which diminished their masculinity indirectly. This utilized added weight to the rationale why males had been reluctant to overtly share their views and experiences in non secular discussions, as they feared their gender would come into query. Certainly, it’s so vital that we perceive that being open to your non secular reality has nothing to do with gender (that polarises it means an excessive amount of). Spirituality is our widespread supply and isn’t gender based mostly. Sure, we will categorical our spirituality by means of the lens of femininity and/or masculinity. Every of us has entry to each of those vitality flows. One isn’t higher than the opposite. One isn’t extra non secular. Each mix to create the entire. Certainly, the extra that we will see extra males overtly sharing their spirituality whereas sustaining who they’re, of their integrity and authenticity, the better permission it offers for all males to do the identical and for girls to additionally comply with swimsuit.
7. Mixing Science and Spirituality – One other nice level from our respondents was that some males view spirituality by means of the lens of science. They see science because the important hall by means of which the non secular dimension will be quantified and touched, thereby making spirituality extra accessible and acceptable to all. And thus, these males don’t are inclined to share their views from a non secular ‘subjective and private’ standpoint, however extra from a structured, outcomes and proof based mostly perspective.
8. Male Non secular Leaders Dominating – Most of the respondents (women and men alike) had the same expertise the place males that they had come throughout in non secular teams or boards would try to take over – or tackle a management function, not lengthy after becoming a member of. Particularly, this may occur with males who might have been ‘new’ to the non secular path, however felt that they ‘knew every thing’ after solely a short while of being uncovered to non secular ideas and views. This was ‘off-putting’ to many real males (on their path for a few years) who attended non secular teams, lessons or workshops with a view to contribute, develop and be taught. They had been really ‘embarrassed’ by some males attempting to take over and dominate discussions and teachings, so quickly after becoming a member of a gaggle. They mentioned that is what put them off from sharing an excessive amount of about their non secular path publicly, as they didn’t wish to be judged, as certainly one of ‘these domineering males’, who try to take over – notably when there’s a predominantly feminine viewers in attendance.
9. Males Feeling Safer to Specific in Teams – Most of the males who responded to my submit additionally mentioned that they felt safer opening up in group conditions that they had been conversant in, fairly then doing so (maybe in a extra random means) on-line. Whereas girls, discovered a standard bond by sharing (maybe to these they don’t even know). Males gave the impression to be a lot extra cautious, preferring to maintain quiet, till they felt they had been secure from judgment or recrimination. Once more, this seems to be as a result of they don’t wish to be judged or pressurised by different males and/or girls.
10. Non secular Males and Ulterior Motives – A well-liked response was the variety of situations that males (and ladies) skilled the place males who had been overtly ‘non secular’ or even perhaps ‘non secular lecturers’ had been abusing their positions of belief. Many mentioned that males they’ve come throughout in non secular lessons or retreats had been solely there to meet girls, who they discovered to be straightforward targets – on the lookout for their soul mates or non secular males who understood them. Certainly, I’ve seen this occur with some males that I’ve met in non secular teams and I’ve heard it taking place (quite a bit) with girls I’ve labored with in private periods. Many ladies have begun a relationship with their male non secular trainer, which has been complicated to them. I’ve at all times thought that males ‘particularly’ should have nice integrity if they’re to be a non secular trainer, as a result of with so many ladies on this area open, trusting and on the lookout for males to narrate to on a soulful foundation, one should at all times be – above reproach.
11. Dropping Contact with Pals When Coming Out as Non secular – And at last, the opposite widespread theme amongst many male respondents was that they discovered the non secular path a lonely one, as soon as their associates or colleagues knew about their non secular path. Many felt unhappy or upset that after their associates and/or household knew extra about who they’re that they now not wished to be round them. They slowly noticed folks from their previous transfer away and lose contact. And on the flip facet of this, some males mentioned that they had been really grateful that that they had been open and trustworthy about who they’re and what they comply with, because it meant they now not needed to play a charade and affiliate with folks they now not resonated with. So, it may go each methods.